Musings from the No Kings Protest

Something terribly funny will happen

“It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.” -Philip K. Dick

Middletown, Ohio—An estimated 400 people showed up for the No Kings protest. That may seem diminutive when compared to the participant turnout for the other 2000 or so rallies being held across the nation today, until you consider that this is JD Vance’s hometown. In other words, Trump Country.

Today’s protest is in direct response to the parade taking place in Washington that the president has insisted is in celebration of the 250th anniversary of the United States Military. It would be in vain for me to attempt contradicting this with evidence, speculation or facts. But today is his 79th birthday. And I can’t help thinking that in comparison, it may be perceived as a little self-indulgent if I insisted on throwing my parents’ wedding anniversary party at my house on my birthday.

Something like, “I’d like to propose a toast to my mom and dad, whose union was able to facilitate the birth of me. Now please raise your glasses and sing me Happy Birthday.”

This is not a political rant, mind you. This is instead a personal declaration from an individual who made the decision to show up and protest today with millions of my fellow country men and women. Yesterday I read a Note here on Substack from someone suggesting that attendees should dress up. If the media is going to broadcast photos of protesters, then let’s look like citizens who are being intentional, respectful and peaceful. We are concerned and wanting our voices to be heard by simply exercising our First Amendment right. And so I threw on my seersucker suit; because what’s more American than seersucker? I’m here to hold up a fist to the oppressive powers that be, and then maybe catch the new Wes Anderson movie afterward. Democracy still stands!

This was my 10-year-old son’s second protest. And he’s ready to attend more if he has to, holding up his sign which reads: “Hands Off My Future!” His grandparents were in attendance with us. And the four of us protested six years to the day that my wife, my son’s mother and his grandparents’ daughter passed away of breast cancer. She would be so proud of her son and her parents. God damn, I know I am!

I’m still on the fence about the whole Trump is Hitler averment, currently undecided if it’s warranted or low-hanging hyperbole. While this administration’s swift concentration of power tips the scale toward the former, I’m still partial to a Mussolini comparison, being that both of these bulbous blowhards resemble an amusement park caricature of a villain. Not to mention, Trump’s continual boasting and bluster and pats to his own back are reminiscent of Mussolini’s false claim that he made the trains run on time. Historical note: the trains were already running on time. I am nevertheless wary of the white supremacists and self-identifying nazis’ admiration and fervor for the Donald. I have to believe that if my party attracted their ilk, I’d be obliged to reevaluate my membership. And to let it be known, while I don’t identify as a democrat, I am liberal- minded.

Having said that, I refer back to the Philip K. Dick quote at the top of this post, the terribly funny thing that inevitably happened today: My son turned to us at one point and said, “Did you see the woman holding the swastika sign that just drove by?” We had not. “Are you sure?” I asked incredulously. “Yes!” He demanded. Minutes later, the woman had circled the block and sure enough, whilst driving, was hanging out her window shouting obscenities and holding a pink swastika. (Apparently a girlie girl nazi.) The crowd looked on in disgust and then watched as she plowed into the car in front of her at the stop light. The police cruiser that was parked within proximity, keeping an ever watchful eye on us, the protesters, quickly pulled up on her.

I’m not going to sit here at my keyboard and make the case for karma. I don’t believe in karma. Comedy, however…I religiously believe in comedy.

All my best,

Tony

(Please enjoy the photos and video below.)